Vijay is an experienced IT professional who is capable possessing the right skills and has been contributing towards the company’s goals. Now when it came to being rewarded to a leadership position, he was overlooked and someone else got promoted. On analysing his behaviour, we could see that while he was good in multiple aspects, one area of his weakness was that he was not assertive.
Assertiveness is a crucial skill in the professional world, yet many struggle with it. The good news is that assertiveness isn’t something you’re born with; it can be developed. It’s primarily our behaviour that determines whether we are seen as assertive or non-assertive.
Here are three actionable steps to help you enhance your professional relationships through assertiveness:
1. Be Mindful of Your Behaviour
Understanding when and why you feel anxious in certain situations is the first step toward becoming more assertive. Journaling your experiences throughout the day can be incredibly insightful. Note down instances where you felt anxious or unable to assert yourself.
Example:
Did you hesitate to speak up in a meeting?
Were you unable to say no to a colleague’s request?
By merely identifying these situations, you gain awareness, which is the first step toward change. Awareness alone can empower you to approach similar situations with more confidence in the future.
2. Start Practicing Small
Begin with low-stakes situations to build your assertiveness muscle. Small, everyday scenarios are perfect opportunities to practice. For instance, consider a situation during a flight where a passenger next to you has placed their purse under the seat in front of you, where you need to stretch your legs.
Example:
Instead of quietly suffering, politely but firmly ask the passenger to move their purse. This small act of assertiveness signals that you rightfully need your space and are confident enough to ask for it.
3. Set Boundaries and Learn to Say No with Grace
Setting boundaries is essential for maintaining professional relationships and your well-being. When someone asks you to take on additional work urgently and you’re already occupied, it’s important to communicate your current priorities.
Example:
Instead of agreeing immediately and overloading yourself, respond with, “I would love to help, but I’m currently occupied with a report that’s due tomorrow morning. Can I it do it later this week OR if it is too urgent, can I ask another team member to help you?”
This approach shows that you’re willing to help but also respect your own time and commitments. It’s a graceful way to assert your boundaries without coming off as uncooperative.
Building assertiveness takes time and practice, but the rewards are worth the effort. By being mindful of your behaviour, practicing in small situations, and setting clear boundaries, you can enhance your professional relationships and establish yourself as a confident and capable professional.
Assertiveness not only improves your interactions with colleagues and supervisors but also boosts your self-esteem and job satisfaction. Start applying these tips today, and experience how your professional relationships and career prospects improve.
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Best wishes for a successful career!
Sarabjeet Sachar
Founder & CEO, Aspiration
Seasoned Career Development & Leadership Coach