Have you experienced working for a toxic boss? If yes, you know how challenging the situation can be. However we need to take it as a learning because there is no experience that is ever wasted. We only need to develop a mindset to look at the same thing differently.
Who’s a toxic boss? Generally speaking toxic bosses have the following common traits.
1] Anxious and reactive :
Is on the edge all the time, is reactive and hence a poor listener. Forms judgements easily and ends up taking decisions which are not well thought through.
2] Uses abusive language:
Has a general tendency to abuse team members in front of others. Affects their self esteem.
3] Gets sadistic pleasure :
Makes team members do things which are unnecessary. For example makes you wait till late night in office say till 11 pm or 12 am without much work. The boss may also stay back or may go home and ask team members to report over phone on status.
4] Micro manager :
Will ask you about every little task that you do. That is how he/she feels in control of things.
5] Happy with short term gains :
The boss most of the times is happy with short term gains (for example a sale being closed by offering a heavy discount).
6] Plays favourites : Has a biased behaviour towards few team members and is judgmental.
7] Throws tantrums : Is very touchy and has outbursts of anger.
8] Intimidating behaviour and bullies team members– Is very threatening and uses fear to get things done and you feel insecure that you may lose your job.
To tackle this situation, you have to keep reminding yourself that your boss may be behaving that way because of his/her own limited capacity to handle challenges in his/her life. Also, you may not know what someone is undergoing in his/her personal life so it advisable not to behave in a similar manner with your boss. At the core, most human beings are good natured and we have seen people change. So be hopeful. Importantly, you will be in a stronger position by behaving in a calm and composed manner and looking at this as a temporary and passing phase.
So how best to handle the situation if you work for a toxic boss?
Here are few things you can do to reduce the impact of the toxic behaviour and can plan your career move accordingly:
1] Recognise that you are working for a toxic boss:
It is important to look at the situation objectively. Focus on the facts and your boss’ behaviour. Do not take it personally because it is his/her own insecurity or a personality trait which is affecting the behaviour. At times we tend to get into such a negative mindset under stressful situations that we forget to look for the seed of an equivalent benefit under adversity. While your boss may have loads of negative traits and it will be difficult to handle, focus on his/her strengths. Your boss would certainly have strengths as he/she has reached a leadership position. Maybe your boss has a good ability to market himself/ herself within the organisation. Make the best of the situation and try to learn from that.
2] Test the waters by discussing with your boss directly :
This would be the toughest to do however am suggesting to give it a shot for a reason. Try to have a one to one open and confidential discussion with your boss. Mind you, this is only to test the waters. Fix up a convenient time and have a discussion focusing only on the issues that are affecting the work results. Nothing about personal traits of your boss. For example if you are being asked to wait till 11 pm in the night on a daily basis, ask what can be done to improve the process / system of working so that you don’t have to stay back late because it is affecting your health. See the reaction and accordingly fine tune your further discussion. If your boss is defensive and not open at all to discuss, you know where you stand and it is easier to take a decision what to do next.
3] Do not lose focus on your work related goals:
Inspite of it being a toxic environment, do continue to focus on your goals and on getting results. It will be difficult however take this tough situation as an opportunity to built your character. Try your best to deliver results. Because in case you have to leave your job, you also need to showcase to the marketplace that you delivered results inspite of a challenging situation which is going to be valued by employers.
4] Do not gossip:
You must avoid gossiping about your boss’ behaviour. The walls also have ears as it is said. It may unnecessarily aggravate the situation for you.
5] Try to find an adjustment or a mid way path:
See if you can find a solution by suggesting to your boss a mid way path for the task to be achieved by making some adjustment in the instructions your boss gives you. The advantage of this approach is that your boss would feel that things are being done according to what he/she requires and you also able to do it without compromising much. For example if your boss asks you to submit a daily report of your daily activities, you can suggest to submit it twice – mid week and on Friday. See the reaction of your boss.
6] Talk to your trusted colleagues :
The other team members too would be affected by your boss’ behaviour so you are not alone. See if there is a feasibility of you talking to few trusted colleagues and taking their views. You as a group can get together and escalate the matter and discuss with either your super boss or the HR department.
7] Maintain good relations with HR department :
HR departments in companies generally look at situations objectively. See if you can develop a relationship wherein you can confide in them, keeping your identity confidential and see what is the kind of solution they can offer. HR department would have dealt with similar situations in other departments and can suggest how to handle this.
8] Start networking:
Use LinkedIn parallelly and start to develop your network with prospective target employers. Start preparing for a job search by studying their pain points and getting into conversations with prospective employers. Keep your LinkedIn profile well optimised so that if there are opportunities in the marketplace recruiters will reach out to you.
If none of the above works out, you got to start an active and a structured job search. And carry this experience as a learning which has only made you stronger. See what kind of good things you could have learnt from your boss and move on.
Best of luck!
Sarabjeet Sachar
Seasoned Career Coach, Founder & CEO, Aspiration